Eww! Eww! EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!

This is so gross!

After arriving at home yesterday I turned on the light in my apartment only to encounter the largest, nastiest cockroach I've ever seen in my life.

And you know how I am about bugs.

It came in through the window, actually muscling its way through the tear in the screen. We stared at each other in frozen shock for a moment before I gathered my wits and grabbed the bug spray. I sprayed it once and it flew into the air. I nearly passed out. Then it began running around my floor in deranged, circular paths. So I sprayed it again. It slowed down, limping and crawling and kicking, dying. Oh my god, it was terrible...I think I could actually hear its little roach screams.

Next, I turned around for what I swear was only a second to get some newspaper to pick it up and discard of it. But when I returned, it was gone. I mean, I can't find it anywhere. I'm completely baffled.

But now I realize that the only thing worse than a live roach scurrying around the apartment is a dead one you can't find. I have a hardcore bug phobia AND an active imagination...a very bad combination. Last night I had a nightmare that it was nesting in some far-flung niche in my apartment, recovering from the toxic spray I shot at it, and will come back as an improved- and angry! - radioactive "super bug" looking for revenge...

Ugh, I get nauseous everytime I think about it. For those of you not living in Japan, please don't jump to the conclusion that my apartment is dirty. The wildlife, in all its forms, is a reality of Japanese countrylife. During this time of year, even the most immaculate of housekeepers find him/her self in a constant battle against insects. I knew I was in trouble when I found out that the town office actually delivers two large bottles of bug spray (for free) to every resident during July.

I'm really freaked out...help!!!