Four Years Eight Months and Two Days Past the Christmas Cake...

Has the reality television phenomenon caught on in Japan? If so, I propose the following:

Background
Girl grows up in economically-challenged and culturally diverse community in the southwest side of Chicago. She puts herself through university and, after obtaining degrees in both Russian History and Cultural Anthropology, decides not to go to graduate school and use degrees as originally planned. Instead, she takes five-year detour into corporate America (scouring that nebulous realm of the business world known as "middle management"). Just as she begins to achieve normalcy (defined here as earning a regular paycheck , paying bills/taxes, and shouldering enormous amounts of responsibility) she suddenly packs up all of her belongings into a paltry 3x5 storage unit and moves to Japan.

Of course, in a fashion that is typical of her decision-making process, she formally studies Russian and French for a few months before coming to Japan instead of anything useful like, oh, say...JAPANESE!

The Premise
Currently into her twentieth month of this adventure, the woman realizes that time is running out and she must make a decision about the future. Unfortunately, she is overwhelmed by the sheer number of interests she'd like to pursue and deeply dissatisfied with the way in which some of the possibilities seem mutually exclusive of others. Convinced that any stranger on the street could do a better job of developing and implementing her career-path strategy than she, she decides to open her life to the general public on reality television.

Thats right! You have been empowered to vote for Angie's future!!!

Here are a few possibilities. Should I...?
(1) Go to graduate school and study history
Pros: I am absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt passionate about history and would love to do this, could easily get into school because of key contacts in the field, am enough of a geek to admit I possess strong desire to obsess about a topic for a decade of my life
Cons: Must be prepared to commit to a life of poverty (or at least 7-8 years), would like to combine this with a degree in business or public policy in the hopes of working for an NGO or a foreign government someday but unfortunately most universities only want students who aspire to be professors/academic researchers (prexisting predjudices about applied history) and isn't life just too short to deal with these snobby assholes?

(2) Get a Master's degree in Policy/International Relations/In'tl Business
Pros: Get to work on issues I care about (specifically the social impact of government policies on communities in developing countries, Russia's AIDs and orphan crisis, education policy in rural China, etc), get to continue the cool globetrotting lifestyle to which I am accustomed, and if I combine this with a history degree I could do interesting research
Cons: This degree might not stand alone and I'd probably need a PhD for career advancement anyway, really really really want damned history PhD the irrational way a some grown men desire flashy cool but ultimately unnecessary expensive tech gadgets

(3) Marry Ken Hirai and continue to live in Japan
Ok, before my grandmother gets too excited about this option...Ken Hirai is a famous Japanese pop singer and not actually my boyfriend. But it does raise the interesting point about marriage and family. Have you heard this offensive Japanese adage that a woman is like a Christmas cake, no good after the 25th (that is, a woman should be married before age 25)? None of my Japanese friends have actually said this to me, but I do feel that attitude is prevalent here in my community. I can honestly say that I feel no pressure at all about love, family and so on - I willingly accept that these things either will or won't happen and are probably connected to some completely obscure event in the universe like my decision to wear a blue sweater today intead of the red one. But I will say that I am really stuck in a pyschological space where I feel a kind of race against the clock. I don't know where this pressure comes from but lately it washes over me in big waves to the point where I am rendered paralyzed. Yes, I know its stupid but I promised to write honestly on this blog so there you have it. Usually the train of thought goes something like "Gee I think I'll make hummus for dinner today...hmm, have to remember to buy more chick peas...wow, really shouldn't pay so much money for chickpeas, need to save money for the future...my god, what if I buy a house?!...well, can't buy a house if I go to school...ah, school, how will I ever pay for it? Better to get a job and put money in 401K with matching employer and contribution and health insurance benefits package...health insurance! I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and I haven't even seen Bali or Kenya yet...yes, much better to travel and see the world now while I am young and healthy, life is too short to be too serious and real life is that which can't be experienced in a classroom or a corporation...hey, how about a career where I can continue to travel....oh wait, must learn languages if I do that...wow, if I go to grad school I'll need Russian, French and Japanese!...hey, am I really smart enough to go to grad school..."

Ok, you get the point. Seven hours later its 3am and I can't sleep. Either I need to stop cooking hummus or I just really need to chill out. Chotto high-strung desu ne?

Clearly, you can see that reality television is my only way out of this mess. I eagerly await your input!

Oh, and if you can get Donald Trump to fire someone on my show, that would be really cool!