Oops

I am the worst teacher EVER!

Today I visited Toyonoura Shogakko, the most difficult of my five elementary schools. Difficult because the kids there don't like to play.

Now, who ever heard of children that don't like to play?! Really, these kids are unbelievable! All twenty-two of them, regardless of age, have perfected an expression of such utter detachment and boredom that even the most genki ALT would turn to stone.

So I chose to see an opportunity instead of an obstacle and planned the most dynamic, action-packed English lesson my deranged mind could conceive. I had the ichi and ni nen sei students first (6-7 year olds). I began with an action words warm-up game that the children at another school loved. Really, I wish I could've videotaped that lesson because their reaction was so brilliant. But alas, it didn't work. After practicing "run", "jump", "walk" and "skip" for 25 seconds they began moaning and groaning that they were tired. One student, acting very much like a little obasan, cried out "My feet hurt" and another faked sleeping on the floor. All kids refused to play any more "moving" games and just wanted to sit at their desks and play bingo. The remainder of my lesson plan flew out the window. Tough crowd.

Expecting the worst from the next class (san, yon nen sei), I walked into the classroom somewhat subdued. But then something magical happened: They began having fun. I thought fun might be happening when a boy flashed the slightest hint of a smile, but his facial movement was a little ambigious and I just dismissed it as a sneeze. Then two more kids smiled...large, proper smiles. Then a few laughed and before you knew it there was giggling which turned into laughing which later turned into cheering. I think some English learning also occured.

The rest of the day progressed like a dream with kids who never ususally engage reaching out to me. Everything was going great UNTIL...

on the playground...

I accidently threw a little girl...

INTO A DITCH!!!

And she proceeded to expel large, anguished, inhuman wails of pain so that all games ceased and everyone stared. It all happened very quickly. The older girls were teaching the younger girls a gymnastics move. My job was to help the younger girls get their feet over their heads, which I did with extreme tenderness and the utmost care. First girl, yoshi! Second girl, yoshi! Third girl - well, her feet went over head, then her feet successfully planted themselves firmly onto the ground. But then, for some inexplicable reason, her left foot moved back, then her right foot moved further back. Suddenly the girl began tumbling backwards and somehow found the only ditch in all of Ikata and fell awkwardly into it. I felt like such a shmuck!

Of course she was fine and everyone else, teachers included, were laughing, but I felt like the playground bully.

Sigh...one step forward, two steps back...