ARGH!!! And The Application Process Drags On...

To apply, or not to apply, that is the question...

Actually, I may make a defacto decision not to apply to graduate school this year just because I can't seem to make any real progress on my application. I'm a month behind where I hoped to be in terms of pulling everything together. And I've lost complete control of my personal statement - it just keeps growing and growing (you might be in trouble when, on paragraph 53, you find that your footnotes need footnotes). Unfortunately, my personal statement now outweighs my writing sample (the most important part of the application) by a ratio of 4:1. Believe me folks, my life isn't exciting enough to warrant 53 paragraphs.

There are two major obstacles impeding the process for me:

(1) I fear that my writing sample (college thesis)- now almost 8 years old - isn't substantial enough to meet the competition. For example, how's my 25 page paper going to stand up to a Master's thesis from the University of Chicago? Access to literature is problematic here in the countryside (there is none). And since history is primarily the art of engaging the past through texts (as opposed to material culture, oral tradition, etc.) it is kind of important to demonstrate that I can do that. So, I am currently toying with the idea of pulling together a new piece of research but will seek the advice of professors on this point. Even if I did, is that something I could do before the deadline?

(2) I'm having a hard time clearly articulating all of my research interests. I am, as always, all over the board. This will kill my application! I need to focus, focus, focus. Here's the really short version of what I'd like to study: Regionally I want to study Russia, Japan and China. Thematically, I'm interested in how nations, communities and individuals construct/define nationality, ethnicity and identity. I also want to explore the relationship between history and politics, the role of history in larger society, and the notions of "historical memory" and "historical reconciliation". I am particularly interested in instances where history intersects with diplomacy (these are HUGE issues for Japan and its Asian neighbors right now - take, for example, the controversy surrounding Japanese history textbooks and Chinese/Korean criticisms that Japanese history textbooks downplay its past imperial aggressions; or Chinese interpretations of the Prime Minister's repeated visits to Yasukini Shrine). I'd also like to examine the unique ability of museums to create/perpetuate a dominating historical narrative in society. I find their ambiguity incredibly fascinating (they are at the same time public and private space, intellectual space and political space, and almost always a stage where competing ideas and interpretations battle it out). After obtaining my history degree (about a gazillion years from now!) I'd like to have career-path into research and policy, so to that end I'd also like to get a master's degree in international economics....

Yeah, and this is the abridged version of my interests!

Its going to be a long next two months!!!