The (Not So) Exciting Stories Of My Adventures In The Japanese Countryside...

"If we are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." -Henry Miller

Thursday, October 26, 2006

When bad things happen to good songs


Two days ago K and I visited our very good friends in Honai, a lovely elderly couple who own a coffee shop. We had dinner with them and about six of their closest (also elderly) friends. The evening ended in karaoke during which they proceeded to serenade us with some of the prettiest old Japan love songs I ever heard (one was even over 100 years old).

They requested we sing an English song for them and we willingly obliged. As you can imagine, the English selection was fairly limited but we settled on "Stand by Me" (Ben E. Kings version). A nice, respectable, innocuous song, right? Charming, even (it was a popular wedding song back in the day).

Wrong!!!

The song cued up. The words and video came onto the television screen. We grabbed the mics and prepared to sing when, to our absolute horror, the following image appeared on the television: a tall, blond woman scantily clad in a short, tight leather dress and fishnet stockings is leaning against a pool table in a smoky bar. She stares at the man across the room and proceeds to...

....give her pool stick...
...a provocative...
...three minute...
....HAND JOB!

Ehhhhh??? We were mortified. The other guests were silent. I do believe I went deaf and blind all at once. I mean, I regard this couple as family - grandparents! I can't even imagine what kind of song they thought we were singing to them.

The images got worse. Soon, K's and my mortification escalated into a peal of uncontrollable giggles. We did our best to muddle through but the whole thing was genuinely awful.

So my question to you is, what is the appropriate omiyage to send in a situation like this? Does Hallmark make a card which says "Dear Grandma and Grandpa, Sorry I presented you with p*rnography in front of your friends?"

Let me know.

Guns, Germs and Steel

No, I'm not referring to the Pulitzer-prize winning book. Rather, this is what I can see just by looking outside the window of the junior high school staff room. Crazy, eh?

It seems the Japanese army is conducting field exercises in Ikata this week. Essentially, this means you can see lots of young men in military fatigues running around town (yes, I like this even better than when the firemen practice their drills out there!!!) They even set up tents on the JHS baseball field last night. Comically, this is the same week that the nulear power plant decided to conduct safety training drills and educational outreach in the community. So, yesterday at 11:30am, in addition to the fifty or so army officers running drills on the baseball field, there were about twenty or so nuclear scientists in full chemical/biological jackets and masks. I swear, it was a like a scene from a bad movie.

Never a dull moment around here.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

What nationality do I appear like?


Yesterday during an introduction at Mizugaura elementary school Aaron asked the students to guess what country I was from.

Their answers?

#1 France

#2 Russia

How interesting! You know, when I was trekking through China last year a substantial number of Chinese people also assumed I was Russian or French. I wonder, might this be indicative of some broad, Asian perception/stereotype about what it means to be Russian or French? If so, what are the specific characteristics and traits associated with "French-ness" or "Russian-ness"? And what behaviors am I manifesting to suggest that I am French or Russian?

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

山芋 Yama Imo, Japanese Mountain Potato


The "raw" truth about Japanese mountain potato:

(1) Its the only variety of potato that you can eat raw.

(2) You can grate it, mash it (see photo below), mix it with dashi, and/or add wasabi and green onions.

(3) Its re-alllllllllllllllllllllly sticky.

(4) Its scientific name is "Dioscorea opposita".

(5) I've eaten it everyday this week.


Sasaki-sensei demonstrates how to grind the yama imo. Behind her you can see a box of potatos she picked from the hills behind her temple.


Aaron bravely attempts to eat the potato.

This photo courtesy of wikipedia!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Shot out to my girls!

This is us, post undo-kai, finishing a lovely sushi dinner, shortly before we spent the next 45 minutes in the Ikata mobile (recently renamed "Hikaru") driving through the mountains of Sada Misaki listening to such classics as "Pimp Juice" on the ghetto blaster.

Don't ask.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Misaki Town Sports Festival Photos





Thursday, October 19, 2006

"Raaaabu Attack" - Phase One Launched


Sequence activated. Results inconclusive. Clever operation title courtesy of my Yawatahama mom, Murami-san.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's Fall!


And we're going to be carving fourteen pumpkins at Ikata Elementary School on Friday. According to my calculations one five-pound pumpkin yields approximately four-and-a-half cups of pumpkin. I think you need about two cups to make one pumpkin pie. That's 28 pies folks! Guess I'll be baking for quite a while in the next few days...

So please come by anytime this weekend for pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin ice-cream, pumpkin creme brulee, and whatever else we can think of!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ikata (Minatoura) Aki Matsuri










Sunday, October 15, 2006

...Having Dinner at Yukiko's House When in Walk Three Shinto Priests, A Woman With a Ukelele, and A Cat With a Red Scarf...


I apologize in advance for the randomness of this post. Its nearly one in the morning, I've been in matsuri (festival) and enkai (office party) mode for over a week, I'm incredibly sleepy and quite confident that my liver hates me after all the abuse I've given it this weekend.

By the way, the bit about the three Shinto guys, the ukelele and the cat with the red scarf really happened. Just ask Aaron, Krissa, and Andrea - they were there. It was sometime after we were asked by public officials to move out from under the enormous ushi oni on suspended scaffolding about to crash down around us in Misaki (yeah, but the photos were great!) and sometime before I found myself an unsuspecting participant in slightly kinky three-way hug with two drunken strangers in Ikata's festival (really not my best publicity moment in town). Wow...I almost forgot how surreal life can be around here; that is, until I tried to explain the circumstances to Claudia during our last conversation. Really C, I'm surprised you still take my calls.

Speaking of bad publicity, the ongoing "puppy joke" continues to amuse. I will preface this by fervently emphasizing that I am a passionate animal lover which is why this story is so funny. I was pulling my car out of the treacherous narrow road that leads from Andrea's house to Melody Line (highway? expressway? only big road on the peninsula???) when I spotted three puppies sleeping on the side of the road. Worried that I might startle them, I ever-so-slowly crept past them (going no faster than 2 miles per hour). Everything was fine until one became skitish and darted right in front of my car but I was driving so cautiously that I didn't even have to hit the breaks. The puppy was entirely safe; however, it continued for several minutes to trot in front of my vehicle howling in fear, giving everybody in town the impression that I was trying to mow it down with my car. It was so embarassing - I was mortified! Will I now be known as the awful ALT who tries to kill puppies?!

Also I would also like to mention that recently, when I was having a really bad day and couldn't reach anyone to talk, I did an internet search about dealing with failure and uncovered the following noteworthy tidbits:

World Rapid Chess Champion and and NIIT Mindchampion Vishy Anand would like to remind us all that "Failure is just your success in disguise."

Ugh, now thats just bloody annoying!

And the fine folks at humanity quest would like us to conceptualize this: "If failure were our pet and we were writing a manual about the care and feeding of failure, what advise would we give?" They even went so far as to provide an example: "Failure is very easy to care for. Be sure to give it daily attention and it will grow big and strong."

Hmmmm...I'm kinda speechless with that one. Managed to feel more bewildered than frightened so I'm giving it 10 points for originality.

Uh, I don't know whats worse, the fact that I did an internet search about failure or the fact that I haven't enough shame to refrain from blogging about it. I'll let you be the judge.

And in conclusion, I would just like to put this on the record lest there is any question about the issue at all. At a recent festival K, A, A and I were watching Japanese "Karashishi" dance. As you know, I'm an enormous fan of traditional Japanese dance (see nearly every one of my previous posts!). This dance is pretty interesting, involving two young men (usually the unmarried 20 or 30 somethings from the community) dressed in a dragon costume and two elementary school aged boys playing taiko. One of the men will manuever the dragon mask ominously over the little boy while the other man dances behind him. Well, it turns out that the guy I have a small crush on was one of the Karashishi dancers. Not realizing this until much later K sought clarification about who exactly he was by asking, completely innocently, "Well, was he the top or the bottom?"

Yikes! Definately the top, K!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Eleven Hours of Kagura Dance

Here is a sample of what I saw at the two-day Kagura festival in Kyushu. I'll write more about this - and the rest of my weekend - soon!





Thursday, October 05, 2006

Confessions of a Ghetto Latte Maker


I admit it.

I did this in college.

Ok, you got me...and the first six months after college when I was making less than $30,000/year.

Do you remember the time when a $3.50 cappucino seemed outrageous? I do. That was before I came to Japan and paid 500 yen for a tiny cup of coffee that tastes like something the cat coughed up. Ooh, the good ole days...



By Charles Leroux
Tribune senior correspondent
Published October 5, 2006

It's 9:20 on a weekday morning, and 20 people awaiting their liquid wake-up call are lined up from the cash register all the way to the door inside the Starbucks at 444 N. Michigan Ave. Statistically, at least one of them may be a thief. Or maybe not.

At issue is the ethics of the bootleg latte.

The manager at that store -- who asked that her name not be used -- said about 5 percent of customers order a doppio, that is, a double shot of espresso and then put a twist on that order. Rather than the 8-ounce cup the doppio would usually command, they ask for the coffee to be put in a 16-ouncer, leaving about three fourths of that cup empty.

These customers take their cups to the condiment counter where various milks, half-and-half, flavorings, etc. are laid out for free use. They pour enough milk into the cup to nearly fill it, then take it back to the office for a zapping in the microwave.

By creating such faux grande lattes, these customers are saving $1.45 ($1.75 versus $3.20 before tax). What they don't get is milk foamed by the barista, but in a side by side taste test, tasters noted that the two were virtually the same.

Those self-made latte customers on North Michigan are far from alone in their frugality. They and makers of an iced version, the faux Americano, have become the focus of a dust-up that has exploded across the Internet with a no-holds-barred fervor that has proponents of the "it's wrong" camp branding the drink a "ghetto latte."

The unfortunate term was entered into the online "Double Tongued Dictionary: A Growing Lexicon of Fringe English" on Sept. 21 this year. "Ghetto latte n," the entry notes, "A purchased espresso to which is added a free dairy condiment such as milk, half-and-half or whitener."

The American Dairy Association might have issues with characterizing whitener as a dairy product and many people might well object to the deplorable connotations of "ghetto," but one googles "ghetto latte," 210,000 hits perk up. Most of that chatter debates the ethics of the practice: Is it right for customers to trick up purchased coffee with free additions to create their own versions of beverages Starbucks (the only coffee purveyor, seemingly, for whom this is an issue) sells for more money?

Here, from a blog called FreePress, freepressblog.org/2006/09/06/gaming-starbucks-the-ghetto-latte/, is a portion of what one barista wrote about a customer -- in the argot that flavors all stories about the coffee vendor and might as well be Urdu to the uninitiated.

"She and her boy toy came in and ordered a Venti and Grande ghetto-latte. I said, `What kind of dairy would you like?' and she said, `Oh, I'll add it myself thank you.' My problem with that is her two drinks cost $4.82 entered as iced Grande and Venti Americanos. The exact drinks on our menu, with all the shots and milk she is actually getting, are called Iced Quad Venti Breve Latte and an Iced Triple Grande Breve Latte. Venti and Grande Americanos come with four and three shots, respectively, of espresso and then water and ice. Lattes are two shots of espresso, milk and ice. Additional shots are 55 cents. Half-and-half [breve] is also an additional charge. The cost of those two drinks as lattes is $10.24 or so!"

So did the woman scam the mermaid (Starbucks) out of $5.42?

Not everyone thinks so, many citing the high price of the coffee to begin with and the very likely possibility that the cost of condiments already is figured into the menu prices. The woman and the toy, one blogger said, are just "stickin' it to the man." A response to that latter blog noted, "I thought Starbucks was sticking it to the man with their more employee-centric/fair-trade etc. ideas. This is another level of stickin' it to the man who is stickin' it."

Moral boundary

Some visitors to the Web debate as to who is sticking whom cut the issues even finer. How much milk or half-and-half can be added before the moral boundary is crossed?

One person said 4 ounces and not a drop more. Another said ominously of the generous self-servers, "God will judge them later."

Writing as "Cutebarista," an apparent employee said, "I definitely still think it's stealing. Hell, try this anywhere else and they'd prolly call the cops/throw you out. . . . Sometimes I wish I worked for a company that cared about these things so that I could take out my day-to-day frustrations on what are essentially thieves."

A report on Starbucks Gossip, starbucksgossip.typepad.com, a site not affiliated with the company, said Starbucks' response to the flap is: "Customization is a fundamental attribute of the Starbucks Experience. We provide condiments to our customers so they can make their drinks to their liking and we appreciate their patronage. We trust our customers to make the choices that are right for them." Although the statement isn't found on Starbucks' official Web site, a company spokesman confirmed that this is the official position. Also, the manager of the Michigan Avenue store said she has been told not to interfere with bootleg latte makers.

"I think this has more to do with the customer's sense of being in this together than Starbucks losing money," said David Ozar, professor and co-director of graduate studies in health care ethics in the department of philosophy at Loyola University and former director of Loyola's Center for Ethics. "After all, the free condiments are, for the company, a marketing tool to keep customers coming in. If that marketing no longer pays for itself directly or indirectly, they'll change the policy.

"But if the same people show up at Starbucks at the same time each morning, they'll develop relationships and feelings of respect for each other that are different from those of isolated consumers. I know I'd have to think about using the last of a limited resource [the milk] if the person behind me in line was someone I knew would be ordering the same thing. I'd probably say, `Maybe we' -- notice I would say we -- `should tell them to bring out more milk.'"

For the rest of the article, go here:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-0610040381oct05,1,5296792.story?coll=chi-homepagenews-utl

Monday, October 02, 2006

Closet Plan Retracted


Whoa - is this a sign? Less than 24 hours after my previous post, this email:


This is mainly a message for 3rd year JETs...
Some of you may have already heard that CLAIR has recently changed it's policy, and is now allowing current third year JETs to recontract for another two years.
If also after careful consideration the Contracting Organization deems the JET's work performance, level of experience and ability to be of an exceptionally high standard, they may choose to recontract the JET an additional two times(altogether, five years). Thus in exceptional cases, a Contracting Organization could conceivably have the same JET working for them for five years in total.
Contracting Organisations will soon be receiving information about this change of policy in English, and they have been asked to distribute to JETs in their area. If your CO doesn't have this information, and you'd like to know more about it please email me and I will get it to you ASAP.
If you are considering asking to recontract for a 4th or 5th year, please talk to your supervisors soon to discuss the situation with them.


Kyoto

Two quick photos from my trip to Kyoto with Murami-san and Nobuya-kun.



分からない


There are times when I worry about what it will be like to reassimilate to life in America. For example, I wonder how much I have changed over the past few years. Will I feel alienated or irritated by little things I used to simply take for granted? Will I have a dramatically different appreciation for or interpretation of how/why we do and think certain things in America? Will this somehow have a negative impact on my relationships back home (that last thought disturbs me the most)?

Eventually I am able to squelch these concerns and reassure myself that, while certainly I have changed somewhat, meaningful and profound cultural change usually takes a much longer time than the few years I have invested in Japan. Sure, its an extremely weak, loosely-concocted, historically inaccurate lie I've told myself but it does allow me to sleep soundly most nights. And thats a good thing, right?

But then I read things like the following article from the New York Times and I panic all over again because I realize that I don't understand Americans at all. And then I worry that I never really understood America at all because I just can't wrap my brain around certain kinds of behavior and ways of thinking.

And yes, I feel alienated and irritated.

And so I want to address a very simple question to my fellow countrymen, particularly the parents in this article who filed the lawsuit, for the love of all that beautiful in the world, for the sake of art, and just for the sake of good common sense" "What the hell is wrong with you people?!?!?!?!??!?!?"

Also, I will withhold all smart-alecky comments related to the fact that this occured, in of all states, Texas.

FRISCO, Tex., Sept. 28 — “Keep the ‘Art’ in ‘Smart’ and ‘Heart,’ ” Sydney McGee had posted on her Web site at Wilma Fisher Elementary School in this moneyed boomtown that is gobbling up the farm fields north of Dallas.

But Ms. McGee, 51, a popular art teacher with 28 years in the classroom, is out of a job after leading her fifth-grade classes last April through the Dallas Museum of Art. One of her students saw nude art in the museum, and after the child’s parent complained, the teacher was suspended.

Although the tour had been approved by the principal, and the 89 students were accompanied by 4 other teachers, at least 12 parents and a museum docent, Ms. McGee said, she was called to the principal the next day and “bashed.”

She later received a memorandum in which the principal, Nancy Lawson, wrote: “During a study trip that you planned for fifth graders, students were exposed to nude statues and other nude art representations.” It cited additional complaints, which Ms. McGee has challenged.

The school board suspended her with pay on Sept. 22.

In a newsletter e-mailed to parents this week, the principal and Rick Reedy, superintendent of the Frisco Independent School District, said that Ms. McGee had been denied transfer to another school in the district, that her annual contract would not be renewed and that a replacement had been interviewed.

The episode has dumbfounded and exasperated many in and out of this mushrooming exurb, where nearly two dozen new schools have been built in the last decade and computers outnumber students three to one.

A representative of the Texas State Teachers Association, which has sprung to Ms. McGee’s defense, calls it “the first ‘nudity-in-a-museum case’ we have seen.”

“Teachers get in trouble for a variety of reasons,” said the association’s general counsel, Kevin Lungwitz, “but I’ve never heard of a teacher getting in trouble for taking her kiddoes on an approved trip to an art museum.”

John R. Lane, director of the museum, said he had no information on why Ms. McGee had been disciplined.

“I think you can walk into the Dallas Museum of Art and see nothing that would cause concern,” Mr. Lane said.

Over the past decade, more than half a million students, including about a thousand from other Frisco schools, have toured the museum’s collection of 26,000 works spanning 5,000 years, he said, “without a single complaint.” One school recently did cancel a scheduled visit, he said. He did not have its name.

The uproar has swamped Frisco school switchboards and prompted some Dallas-area television stations to broadcast images of statues from the museum with areas of the anatomy blacked out.

Ms. Lawson and Mr. Reedy did not return calls. A spokeswoman for the school district referred questions to the school board’s lawyer, Randy Gibbs. Mr. Gibbs said, “there was a parent who complained, relating the complaint of a child,” but he said he did not know details.

In the May 18 memorandum to Ms. McGee, Ms. Lawson faulted her for not displaying enough student art and for “wearing flip-flops” to work; Ms. McGee said she was wearing Via Spiga brand sandals. In citing the students’ exposure to nude art, Ms. Lawson also said “time was not used wisely for learning during the trip,” adding that parents and teachers had complained and that Ms. McGee should have toured the route by herself first. But Ms. McGee said she did exactly that.

In the latest of several statements, the district contended that the trip had been poorly planned. But Mr. Gibbs, the district’s lawyer, acknowledged that Ms. Lawson had approved it.

“This is not about a field trip to a museum,” the principal and superintendent told parents in their e-mail message Wednesday, citing “performance concerns” and other criticisms of Ms. McGee’s work, which she disputes. “The timing of circumstances has allowed the teacher to wave that banner and it has played well in the media,” they wrote.

They took issue with Ms. McGee’s planning of the outing. “No teacher’s job status, however, would be jeopardized based on students’ incidental viewing of nude art,” they wrote.

Ms. McGee and her lawyer, Rogge Dunn, who are exploring legal action, say that her past job evaluations had been consistently superior until the museum trip and only turned negative afterward. They have copies of evaluations that bear out the assertion.

Retracing her route this week through the museum’s European and contemporary galleries, Ms. McGee passed the marble torso of a Greek youth from a funerary relief, circa 330 B.C.; its label reads, “his nude body has the radiant purity of an athlete in his prime.” She passed sculptor Auguste Rodin’s tormented “Shade;” Aristide Maillol’s “Flora,” with her clingy sheer garment; and Jean Arp’s “Star in a Dream.”

None, Ms. McGee said, seemed offensive.

“This is very painful and getting more so,” she said, her eyes moistening. “I’m so into art. I look at it for its value, what each civilization has left behind.”

School officials have not named the child who complained or any particular artwork at issue, although Ms. McGee said her puzzlement was compounded when Ms. Lawson referred at times to “an abstract nude sculpture.”

Ms. McGee, a fifth-generation Texan who has a grown daughter, won a monthly teacher award in 2004 from a local newspaper. She said the loss of her $57,600-a-year job could jeopardize her mortgage and compound her health problems, including a heart ailment.

Some parents have come to Ms. McGee’s defense. Joan Grande said her 11-year-old daughter, Olivia, attended the museum tour.

“She enjoyed the day very much,” Ms. Grande said. “She did mention some nude art but she didn’t make a big deal of it and neither did I.” She said that if Ms. McGee’s job ratings were high before the incident, “something isn’t right” about the suspension.

Another parent, Maijken Kozcara, said Ms. McGee had taught her children effectively.

“I thought she was the greatest,” Ms. Kozcara said. But “knowing Texas, the way things work here” she said of the teacher’s suspension, “I wasn’t really amazed. I was like, ‘Yeah, right.’ ”

NYT
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/30/education/30teacher.html?ex=1159934400&en=bd25d264b7def618&ei=5087%0A

Oh No -- Am I a "lifer"?!?!


Gadzooks! I'm going to have to leave Japan in less than a year, and do you know what? I really don't want to!

This is how serious I am about wanting to stay: if I could remain in Ikata for another year but had to decide to do so immediately (as in today, right this moment), I wouldn't even hesitate to sign the contract. I am just so happy here! And I don't want to be dramatic, but everyday a little piece of my heart breaks to realize that I'm going to have to leave soon. Sigh.

I can't account for these feelings in any logical manner. On any given day I run the gamut from thinking that I'm doing something incredibly important with my time here to believing that I am the most ridiculously superfluous creature ever. Talk about a rollercoaster! The little Japanese that I do manage to speak during those rare times when my foot is not actually in my mouth is just awful and I am in a constant state of (exhausting) paranoia that I'm going to say/do the wrong thing (alright, alright, I know I'm a generally paranoid and uptight person anyway but I'm pretty sure its magnified in Japan). In purely Japanese contexts (folk dancing, matsuris, teas, loooong-ass parties in which I am the only English speaker, etc.) I feel about as sophisticated and graceful as a three-legged elephant. Argh - it seems that if you live in Japan for a long enough time and you are even remotely sensitive to your environment, you'll gain just enough understanding to understand that you understand nothing at all. Kind of like permanently being the only person in the room who doesn't get the joke.

I could go on.

That being said, there is something so amazing and seductive about this Japanese life of mine that I just can't let it go. On the one hand its "Japanese culture" itself (whatever that means, exactly!) and I'm not referring to that that naively romantic "tea and onsen" stuff . I don't presume to have penetrated anything of substance about the things around me, but I have to admit that I'm just enamoured with the mechanics and rhythm of everyday life in the countryside, exchanging new ideas and emotions in an unfamiliar cultural milieu, the unbelievable kindness of my friends, and the overall color/texture/patterns/melody of this place. On the other hand, I find it thrilling to go through life not completely understanding everything around me (its like this enormous intellectual puzzle I have to solve). I love learning Japanese and I can't wait to study it formally in school. Also (this might sound wierd) I really like having to utilize tools other than language to communicate with people. I honestly feel like I've connected with people in a more meaningful way because of this.

Of course, there are a million more things I could write about why I like it here but I think I already made this post too much of a corny lovefest.

So I want to stay here but I can't. I'm currently devising a plan that involves hiding out in K's closet for the next year just so I can remain in Japan. I would stay in A's closet because her place is bigger but, lets face it, the spiders in Misaki are terrifying.

I'll let you know how it all works out!